lawns & learning

turning grassy lawns into vegetable gardens seems like such an obvious solution to the rising food prices.

but many people who are burdened with heavy mortgages are too busy working to tend a garden. they need a low-maintenance yard. sometimes, they spray chemicals on their lawns to keep them weed free. these pesticides become part of our environment, running into the drains and the rivers. these perfect looking lawns aren't really that friendly for rabbits. i imagine that the baby bunny prefers clover.

mowing lawns: noisy, violent, polluting. expensive, too (gas & mower maintenance). i know it's easy for me to talk: i have no lawn.

(i don't want to be a judgemental eco-fanatic. i am just trying to find the way of peaceful co-existence and enjoyment, rather than fighting against the natural world. i am seeking that lifestyle that is slower, easier, more beautiful, and less expensive.)

in order to get my hands into soil, i haul dirt up the stairs in heavy buckets and crates, and plant seeds. a growing collection of containers is appearing on the ledge out a window.

maybe there is a way that people with more free time could exchange work for a share in a yard of a too-busy person who owns land but can't find the time to grow food? in a progressive town like this, i imagine someone wouldn't mind the idea.

it makes me crazy how illogical our society has become. fertile soil under our noses, but we drive to the store to buy food that has been driven all the way from california, or shipped from south america.

of course i'm a fan of italian olive oil and colombian coffee, but maybe we could at least shift towards more growing it near home.

it also makes me crazy how much education i've had and that i know so little about gardening. there was such a long time that i thought it was uninteresting. but it's crucial. how useful is a master's in math, really? i'd rather know so many other things, but maybe until now i just wasn't ready to appreciate what is really useful.

i'm so glad that i've left the job where my life's work was teaching algebra...such a useless suffering inflicted upon uninterested minds. it has its place, but i certainly would not say that it should be a requirement for any college graduate. what a waste to spend 20 years of my life teaching kids to factor, how to find the vertex of a parabola, how to interpret the slope and y-intercept of a line. Even calculus! the product rule, the derivative of the sine. Why??? i am glad i know it, and it's nice to pull out some trigonometry when drawing up plans for a bench. but if i look back at my years of education and list what i learned that really mattered, it would probably really be shocking.

if i ever return to teaching, i want to teach something that really matters. and in order to do that, i must learn what really matters. i think that is the stage i am in now. learning.

it continues to amaze me how my views keep changing. i am interested in ideas and lifestyles that i used to scoff at. i'm more open to natural medicine. i've stopped eating meat, and am questioning the ethics of eating the eggs of chickens raised in miserable conditions (does an organic dozen represent less suffering than a conventional dozen?). rather than racing around busily, i want to do less, be more centered, more at peace with myself. i want to shift steadily in the direction of a contemplative. if i slow down enough, maybe i will find God in my sprouting carrot seedlings, in the grain of wood that i sand, in the woodchuck that watches me warily.

making things

a bouquet of buttercups

a crate

a tv stand/buffet/seating bench (disregard dust, please)

simple & delicious

plain whole milk yogurt with drizzled honey and grated nutmeg on top

2 eggs fried/steamed with chopped fresh rosemary, salt, and pepper. buttered toast on the side.

lightly sauteed & steamed carrots and kale, with eggs scrambled in at the end. grate parmesan cheese over it, cover, and let it melt.

wouldn't a photo be nice? but my camera batteries need to be re-charged every day, and i don't have the patience for it. i just eat.

--

two crates made yesterday. except for cutting handle-holes, which i need a different saw for. the kitchen table is done, too, but i need to acquire the right finish for it, so that the surface is protected and can be wiped off. i'm looking for tung oil.

crates

i am setting out to learn how to make crates. i bought 4 back when i was in college from a fruit stand. they're so versatile: they've been nightstand, coffee table, bookshelves, a plant stand, and seating. and when i had to pack for a move they were super heavy, but useful--filled with books.

i want to make a set of at least six crates. it's adam's idea, but instead of making bookshelves, i can just stack these crates (just two or three high, for safety). while sketching ideas today it came to me that i could make them in such a way that they could also be drawers.
i love multipurpose objects. the best other example is my set of wide-mouth mason jars that are both drinking glasses and an alternative to tupperware. their lids are handy for covering a cup of coffee that would otherwise get cold.

i regret that i cannot give photocredits for these beautiful images that are not mine.

the urge to garden has never been so strong. there is no logic to this, since i don't even have a balcony to put my plants on, but the call to have plants growing, to eat what the earth can give...it is compelling and i WILL find a way.

rosemary

the first tomato

i sprinkled some yellow pepper seeds in this pot and covered them with soil. here they are...although since they are from a grocery store pepper (that could be a hybrid) there's no way to know if they will produce fruit.

i also planted carrots, apple seeds (from an apple), cherry tomato seeds, and am planning to plant the garlic bulbs that have sprouted. basil and cilantro would be wonderful.

my first table

this is my first. very basic. the leg closest is wood found on the beach. we found the two pieces that form the table top in a dumpster and sanded them off. the fact that it is rough & unfinished suits adam fine--he doesn't have to worry about paint drips.

expenses, food, and the global hunger crisis

In the past few years, I began to make decisions to radically decrease my living expenses. My ability to now live on about half of what I used to make has given me considerable freedom, and the luxury to slow my life down to a contemplative pace.

One big thing was to move into a two-bedroom apartment and share with a roommate. But there have been other things as well. I don't really shop for clothes except when i need a specific item. I cut my own hair. I get movies at the library instead of the video store. I curbed my addiction to buying books. I stopped going out to eat, except very rarely. And lately, Adam & I stop each other from buying things because we can lend or give each other things we already own (well, mostly he stops me).

I also found ways to reduce my grocery costs. I started to think about all foods in terms of their cost per pound, and quickly saw that meat and cheese are much higher than vegetables, grains, and legumes.
-eat less meat (I now eat no meat, and barely miss it.)
-eat foods made from basic ingredients
-eat more vegetables and legumes (beans, chickpeas, lentils)
-make my own bread (often just biscuits because they're easier)
-cut out fruit juice, boxed cereals, and insta-meals because they're expensive
-cut out processed foods (also because they are full of unnecessary and unhealthy ingredients)
-buy rice in bulk (I can get a 20 lb bag of whole grain rice for $11)

In case this sounds like I am living in a state of deprivation, I should emphasize that the meals prepared with these foods are so much more delicious than I have ever made. I've learned to use good oils (peanut, olive, sesame), and a variety of seasonings. Simple eating can be the best kind of eating.

There are items that i now spend more on than i used to. Cage free eggs (some of the time), organic milk, and some organic produce. When the farmers' market comes back to town, I'll be happy to spend a little more to support local agriculture. I think I still end up spending less than I used to.

But our recession (whether it's official or not) isn't really the biggest news on the planet. Other parts of the world are suffering from severe food shortages. I don't know enough to say what the causes are, but I clicked here to urge our government to send aid. You can read more about the crisis here.

i can't remember being hungry and not having the resources to get food to fill my stomach. maybe i've come home late to an empty fridge and been too tired to cook, but i always have something that i could eat.



I seem to always have those Pachacutec slums in my mind. Maybe one day I'll learn something useful to help them to live better, healthier lives on the dunes outside of Lima, Peru.



This interview on NPR today inspired me. I want to know more. "Paul Polak, Tackling Global Poverty His Own Way" Maybe I'll read his book.



This man is trying to find low-tech solutions to help small farmers (less than 5 acres) to improve their yields. This speaks to me, on so many levels. Maybe I'll write more after I read the book.

people who've inspired me

these are people who've had a significant impact on my outlook.

+madeleine l'engle. she is a writer of children's fiction as well as reflective memoir style non-fiction (and poetry). in her books i found an idealized world of intellectuals who had faith and who thought about the world, science, nature, and responsibility. i think she helped me to start seeing my belief in God from a different angle, which was helpful for that critical time in high school.

+mark strand. for this one poem, which touched me when i needed to hear it.

+robin lee graham. he sailed around the world alone as a teenager. this book opened up to me the world of adventure, travel & exploration, which i read a great deal about for some time. it always seemed like a world that wasn't really available to me. even though i grew up in bolivia, my life wasn't one of rock climbing, sailing, or exploring the wilderness, like i wanted to. as an adult, however, i've taken some amazing road trips, snorkeled in the bahamas, climbed on rocks, camped in the back country, had a bear encounter (more than one actually), and taken sailing lessons. of course, it is never enough.

+dan price. the author of a little book called radical simplicity, he tells with wonderful sketches about all the ways he's lived a non-traditional life, breaking free of the mortgage trap and living in a series of huts, tents, yurts and hobbit dwellings. reading this book started me truly knowing that i could and had to live in a weird house i built with my own hands. (this one's for you, bethany).

+mom and dad. even though we have our struggles, my parents are heroes to me. they have chosen to live meaningful lives, helping others and doing things that matter. i have started to see ways in which my choices mirror theirs. mom's legacy is amazing--painting, playing the piano, speaking 7 languages, being a nurse & midwife, living in the jungle in a bamboo hut on stilts in malaysia when she was 23, marrying late and having 4 children by c-section in bolivia starting at age 39. she is my heroic wild woman. now she gardens and talks to the cats, the flowers, the bees, the birds. she composes music and revels in scripture and travels and continues to inspire me.

dad is generous, always opening his heart to those in need, in prison, immigrants, outsiders. he loves to read, he is an idealist, he believes in Truth and that it will not fail us. he invented popcorn & games and the rowdy hide and seek game that thrilled and scared us to death and made mom nervous. now he's travelling more than ever, racking up millions (literally) of miles on airlines and driving all over the place.

+m. scott peck. The Road Less Travelled changed my life. I guess it's corny, since it's a self-help book, but I took it seriously. When I moved out here to NJ it came into my life from a friend's bookshelf. Over the course of months I read it and it shaped my thinking about my life habits, taking responsibility and being more disciplined. It also was a turning point because it opened me to the wisdom of eastern thought as supplementing, rather than threatening, my Christian faith.

+c. s. lewis. His writing took everything I knew about my faith and made me see it in a different light, from a different perspective. "This is a myth that is true." I feel like I still have much to discover and learn from him. I want to think and read more about world myths, the story of the Christ, Jungian archetypes, Lord of the Rings (written by his friend Tolkien). It's all connected.

+adam, my boyfriend. i respect his art, which is an embodiment of his sensitivity and honesty. having adam in my life has challenged me to be more honest. i look forward to more adventures and discoveries and to making things together.

there are so many more.

step

“There is usually one small step we can take in the direction of a dream. When we do the universe often takes several more.”
-Julia Cameron

act

from a book review here:

"Emotion follows action, not the other way around. Act, then feel good. Do not wait to feel good before acting."

My life doesn't have an externally imposed structure right now, outside of appointments I set with tutoring clients. So I have to motivate myself to get out to the workshop, and create. Later, I feel good.

here is my new bench/table. it's dimensions were dictated by the (salvaged) wood i had available, but it works nicely in my room as a place to stack blankets and stuff that otherwise would get piled on a chair somewhere. the top is 18 by 40 inches, and it's about 26 inches high.



i'm pretty happy with the look overall. i found pictures in various interior design books at barnes & noble and made sketches in my journal of antique style country furniture that appealed to me. (sometimes the lines and dimensions of a particular table would resonate so strongly with me that i would just stare at the picture and feel an intense pleasure, as if some part of me were being fed.) that is how i came up with the general design of this table, and it's one that i'm likely to repeat.



the image above shows how i notched out the leg to support the cross-piece. This strengthens the piece structurally, and is a step up from the very simple joinery on adam's painting table (which i'd like to post pictures of soon).

..

yesterday and today i've been working on organizing my workshop to make it more livable. the idea is to be as productive as possible with the idyllic life that i currently am blessed with.

ideas for the next project:

a longish bench for seating or even a coffee table
a long shaker-inspired pegboard
various kinds of stools
re-finishing some salvaged furniture (i've been procrastinating that)
fixing some chairs i found

i think my passion for now is tables and benches.
kind of like when i was doing ceramics i only wanted to make bowls and mugs.
super functional, very basic, handmade, imperfect

i made this planner/notebook/address book recently, and i love how it turned out.

here's what i did. i decided on a 4 1/2 by 5 3/4 inch size for the covers (cardboard), and made the pages slightly smaller (about 4 by 5 1/2). i went through my paper collection, old envelopes, graph paper, old yellowed paper, magazine pages and made a big pile of pages ripped to size.

i also drew up the calendar pages by hand, which resulted in a nice looking imperfect grid of days. there are tabbed dividers made from a blue 2 pocket folder from a conference a while ago.

with a little help from adam, i held the pile of pages tightly together in their desired arrangement, and he drilled through the pile three times with my drill. then, three hinged metal rings (that open and close) completed the binding. for some reason i decided on tomatoes for the front cover, which is a little odd, but maybe it is a portent of gardening in my future.

some other images of this little project are here.

adam's art work--an update

adam has been painting and posting photos of his latest work here.

he has a set of watercolors that i love, including this one and this one.

i also love the large canvas he started recently. (in this picture, you catch a glimpse of the table we put together for him.)

my camera is either dead or uncooperative, so i don't have any new pictures to share, but hopefully that will change soon.

i've spent a lot of time being annoyed at irrational behavior.

just recently, a new thought came to me. (i think it was while i was sitting at the kitchen table, watching out the window as people walked by two stories below.)

it's precisely our irrational behaviors that make us human. does any other animal behave irrationally?

well, actually...i know this cat...

but really, i think that choosing illogically, having weird quirks of behavior, liking things for no particular reason...this is our prerogative as humans, isn't it?
free will?

this is not a complete thought, just a new one, for me.

the trouble with perfect

that lovely new dish gets chipped, there's a spot on the wall where the paint got nicked...it can really get to you. a snag in a sweater, hole in your jeans, a scratch on the new leather shoes. a dent in your car, a stain on the bedspread.

the trouble with perfect is that we think we have to get a new one. or find a way to perfectly conceal the flaw.

but the flaw is a trace of our existence, our motion through life. our posessions are marked by our passage. and all things are in transition. all things will one day return to what they were made of. this is a natural process.

---

i am working on a table. it is a challenge to make a good table, and yet to be at peace with its imperfections.

there are scratches and stains on some of the pieces of wood. one board has paint drips on it, which i love. some of the smaller pieces had a former life as a dresser drawer before i claimed them.

i do want the table to rest solidly and quietly on its four legs. but the fact that it is a little bowlegged on one end because i carved a too-large chunk out of a leg...that is just part of its character now.

---

the difference between real wood and fake pressboard is in how it ages. real wood can look good even after 50 years. the weathering and scratches eventually give it real charm. but pressboard (like my ikea shelves) tends to end up on the side of the road after 5 years, and it doesn't have charm. it just looks bad. even if it looked perfect when you bought it.

i'll post a picture of the new table very soon.

i definitely believe in picking a book by its cover. this one lived up to my expectations.

some excerpts:

"If you keep quiet, you die. If you speak, you die. So speak and die." -introduction

"How is it that some people always know what is best for others?" -p. 111

"His mother...was a refined woman--but not so refined that she couldn't eventually tell me so." p. 272

"Grandfather didn't have time to build anymore walls, he said that now everything was held together by factory cement, but if he ever built another wall he would do it his own way, and hold it together with what he called cunning." p. 41

"The worst burden in life is what others know about us. But maybe there is one burden even worse than this. It happens when they don't know about us, it is what they think about us when, in silence, they force us to be what they expect us to be. Even worse is how we become it, and I...had become it." p. 248




This isn't just a book about a gypsy life. It's about the life of a woman who suffers and wanders and sometimes speaks and sometimes keeps her own counsel.

do you see the wildness?

it sprouts, neglected, between
the rowhouses and the noisy tracks

in thick, tangled silence
it roars in another tongue

mythic
primal forest

it will never die, yet
it is caked with black exhaust
choked, choking
on the fumes of hurry and distraction.

hacked shackled shorn
taken bondage
an indomitable savage
with head held proudly.

do you see the wildness?


(this is the raw version. i'd like to work on it more.)

i am so excited and inspired that barack obama is possibly going to be our next president. everything i learn about him wins my respect, and even inspires me to try to be a better citizen.

you can view his speech "a more perfect union" on you tube here.

i sense that he is an intellectual with integrity. and his campaign seems more like a generous act of leadership than a grab for power. thank you for running for president! i want to tell him.

i've been dreaming of gardening this year. reading this and crossing my fingers about a plot in a community garden nearby.