me learning about edible wild plants

today we went for a walk not far from where we live. after getting over a fight about where to park the car, we enjoyed the rest of the hike thoroughly.

i've been doing quite a bit of browsing in books about edible wild plants. but i'm terrible at retaining information. so i get very excited if i make an identification of any plant. a while ago, i spotted a stinging nettle growing at the side of the path down by the river. i even rubbed the leaf on my thumb and was strangely elated to feel the sting that lingered for the rest of the day.

i've learned that if you cook nettles, their stinging goes away, and they are a very nutritious green to add to a soup or other dish. i haven't tried this yet. i got a little discouraged when i read that the leaves are best gathered earlier in the spring before they become more tough and bitter.

the other very interesting use for nettles is as an alternative to rennet. i understand that in the making of cheese, a substance from the stomach of a young cow is used to digest the milk. this is called rennet. however, nettles can be used to make an vegetarian alternative to rennet. so cool!

anyway, back to today's hike. i was eager to try to identify more plants, even though i forgot to bring the books with me. before too long, i saw nettles growing by the river. i didn't sting myself this time.

most of the hike i looked at plants and observed their details more closely, figuring i could look them up when i got home. i think i may have successfully identified curled or yellow dock as well. i thought it was amaranth, looked it up, and realized it wasn't. then a few pages over in the book i realized maybe that it was dock. i'm pretty sure it's right.

the interesting thing is that if you touch nettles and are stung, you can often find dock growing near by. by crushing the dock leaves in your hands, (maybe even spit on it to add some moisture), you can create a salve that will ease the stinging. (I read this in Euell Gibbon's book, Stalking the Healthful Herbs.)

[i was just looking for a picture of dock online and am now starting to doubt whether i actually found dock. never mind. i'll find it eventually.]

finally: dandelion greens. well, we took our bowls of food outside to eat on the grass, and afterwards, i realized we were sitting on some. adam tried some, and said these are bitter! and they were. but we picked a bowlful anyway, and i washed and boiled them. apparently, you can still eat them as the season progresses, but you compensate by boiling them and changing the water they are boiled in. i cooked them for 5 minutes, changed the water, then 10 more minutes (in very little water), and drained them. with a little butter i thought they were quite good. adam didn't think they were that exciting, but the fact that they weren't gross is exciting to me. i think next time i'll pick more and actually include them in a dish. or maybe with our eggs in the morning.

p.s. we saw so many different animals today! lots of turtles swimming and sunning by the river. a snake in the weeds by the path. minnows, and an enormous fish. probably 4 feet long and almost a foot in diameter--it appeared only momentarily as we sat and snacked by the river. i watched for a long time for it to reappear but it didn't. but wow! later, a snake swimming on the surface, but when it saw us it disappeared into the depths. a groundhog grazing by the road. a swarm of ants on our sidewalk. a solitary little rabbit munching in the grass. and finally a racoon raiding a dumpster. and blackbirds swearing at him and divebombing him.

more photos

two things have really made me feel inclined to take more pictures lately.


i got back my old camera, which actually holds a charge for weeks at a time. the one i'd been using for some reason needed me to recharge the batteries pretty much every day. there's nothing like having to stop and recharge the batteries to stop you from documenting a plate of food when you really just want to eat it.


also, i downloaded picasa to this laptop. now i can go through, edit, and organize so much more quickly.


i can't believe the months ticking by since august 1, 2008 when we were married. i guess i want to have a record of what our daily life looks like. who knows, maybe it will be very different next year.


one question for you please, though. is there any problem with me posting these photos in large format? i like how they look but am curious. thank you.

excerpt from Lloyd Alexander's "The Black Cauldron"

The other day I remembered the books by Lloyd Alexander that our teacher read to us in grade school. The series begins with "The Book of Three" and is followed by "The Black Cauldron". I believe there are six in all.

They are kids books, but I recently checked the first two out of the library and lost myself in them. The author researched and based his writing on Welsh mythology. The books are beautifully written, full of depth and human struggle and growth.

These are the types of books I would love to read to my children one day. The characters in these books struggle with self doubt and difficult people as well as true villains. Self-discipline and integrity are not just values of the "nice guys" but are traits of the heroes that you admire and love.

here's a little excerpt.

"I am troubled," [Taran] said in a low voice, "and I wonder now if we should not turn back. I fear you have kept something from me, and had I known what it was, I would have chosen otherwise."

If Adaon shared Taran's doubts, he showed no sign. In the saddle, he rode unbowed, as though he had gained new strength and the weariness of the journey could no longer touch him. On his face was a look Taran had never seen before and could not fathom. In it was pride, yet more than that; for it held, as well, a light that seemed almost joyous.

After a long pause Adaon said, "There is a destiny laid on us to do what we must do, though it is not always given to us to see it."


I think there's an important attitude in books like these and maybe also the Lord of the Rings books/movies. I'm not sure if I can put my finger on it entirely but maybe it's that they show that goodness isn't just boring and nice. The battle of good against evil is a very difficult struggle, and only the most valiant and brave can truly succeed, and then only with the help and love of their friends and their family.

I think lots of today's stories take a really disturbing approach towards evil. They are fascinated with bad people, or laugh along at them. And at the same time, those who concern themselves with the challenge to be good and true are never taken very seriously.

But the quest to be honest to yourself, to be loving and generous, to be faithful to those you love--this quest is a long and difficult one of mindful self examination and committment to truth. The end result of such a life is not dramatic until you look more closely and see a deep peace and trust that can only be built over many years.

beets, spinach, sunflower seeds, etc.

i never used to be very into salads but adam makes very good ones with garlicy dressings that give us very strong breath.

tall trees

we went to some woods on a very windy day.

wheat, beets, and carrots

here's the picture of that salad. it's delicious warm, with salt & pepper and oil & vinegar.

the beets take over and make everything pink, even the carrots. but the beets have a nice mellow flavor.

be sure to soak the wheat overnight before cooking it.

april showers

walked home from tutoring in the light rain. lovely gray day today, following a beautiful sunny weekend.

i have a picture of the beet recipe below now, as we made it again today. i'll get it to the computer and onto this blog eventually. i don't like fussing with all that technology.

my garden has made some slow progress, although it seems my soil is pretty bad, and i have been terribly blocked as to how to address it. yesterday i finally bought a bag of soil marked organic, as most others seem to have built in fertilizers. i'm hoping to use it to get some more seedlings going a little more healthily.

i've had many ponderings of late. i could write about any one of them, but sometimes they seem more like lessons i need to learn and less essays to be written.

today i was thinking:

anything that makes it seem like life is easy is an illusion, because the truth is that life is complicated and messy and difficult, even if there are moments of stunning beauty almost every day.

i feel like lots of tv and advertising and fake stories show this fantasy that things should be neat and easy and clean and orderly and predictable. and we struggle because our experience just isn't so, no matter how hard we try.

i've also been struggling with my attitude towards daily tasks. cooking, washing dishes, sweeping up dust bunnies, tending to finances, chopping vegetables, making bread, laundry. some of these jobs i like, others i want to get out of my way as quickly as possible.

but the truth is that each of these tasks is part of the fabric of my life. and i have to re-think my approach that just wants them to be gone, forever, and out of my mind..

ever so slowly i'm learning to savor the moments of some little task that i used to rush through. maybe not savor, but be mindful in it. and know that these pieces ARE my life, not holding me back from my life.

the art of contentment, of a slow savoring of a life that is actually full of the richest blessings as well as daily challenges--this is what i must learn. even if my old self would like to focus on large, ambitious projects.

1. figuring out which state and which town and what land we might re-locate to
2. building our yurt
3. raising lots of vegetables and
4. learning how to can and preserve them

while i'm at it i'll make this list longer, because the truth is that all of these are good ambitions, and i do value them, and i know eventually we'll get to them.

5. communicating more effectively and kindly in conflict with my husband
6. learning to knit (and possibly spin yarn myself)
7. sew more clothes
8. make a hand-made quilt
9. weave a basket from found twigs
10. make writing a more regular part of my life, and perhaps writing a book someday
11. eventually return to teaching, once i have something more inspiring than algebra to share with students
12. return to woodworking and making bowls, once we are settled in a place and can make workshops
13. learn some german, since it is the language of at least one branch of my ancestry
14. (wow, i should have had this way up my list) find a way to keep our extended families central and close in our lives, even though they are distant geographically.
15. learn about edible wild foods
16. continue to read about natural medicine

so...each day...to practice contentment and yet to make small steps towards some of these ambitions.

yum

i have a huge jar of wheat berries (berries are just wheat grains). we sometimes sprout them and then eat them raw in salads. they are pretty sweet, so they benefit from a vinegary dressing to balance the flavor.

a couple of days ago i put about a cup of them in a bowl with some water and set them on top of the fridge.

today i checked on them and they smelled vaguely fermented (this is actually good). i rinsed them and put them in a pot with diced beets, green peppers, yellow peppers, and carrots. they boiled for a while.

i just learned this trick, where, to save energy, you can get a pot boiling and then cover it, turn it off, and cover it with a couple of dish towels so that it can continue to cook with its own heat.

however today i was hungry and wanted it to cook as quickly as possible so i bailed on that technique, and before it was totally done, i drizzled olive oil, salt, pepper, and apple cider vinegar over it.

chewy wheat berries, really a delicious warm salad is what i guess it was.

it's all gone now ;)

three little things

1.
the image above is of a tomato seedling. i bought heirloom seeds from seeds of change. i forget the variety, but i loved the surprising purple stems on these little guys.

2.
when i excitedly wrote about finding out how to harvest the little seeds from the flowers of my basil plants, i didn't know that those seeds would never germinate. i imagine it's because the dried, dead plants sat out on the fire escape all winter before i got around to harvesting the seeds. next year, i'll have to do it in the fall. fortunately i still have the seeds that i bought last year, and they have sprouted nicely and are working on leaves 3 and 4 now.

3.
so here's the latest update...who knows how successful it will be, but yesterday, we took a walk, and it had rained the night before, so in damp spots and puddles we could see earthworms. we ended up picking up quite a few, and then discovering that you could find the mother lode by turning over clumps of leaves that were sitting at the edge of the (paved) road. we ended up filling a small styrofoam coffee cup found sitting by the road. quite the mass of worms! it was so fun.

so we brought them back, and i dumped them out on the box of dirt that is supposed to be sprouting lettuce and spinach. i thought that 10 minutes later they might all have buried themselves, but they hadn't...although some had found their way in. i helped them to untangle themselves from each other and put some into the other pots where hopefuly radishes and kale will soon be sprouting. then i decided they needed a little help and i dumped extra dirt on top of them. i was afraid they'd get chilled and die before they summoned the energy to burrow. after all, we were responsible for pulling them out of their damp, leafy hiding places.

i love my pet worms! may they thrive in my lettuce patch.

In Defense Of The Family Farm - by Wendell Berry

the article is here.

here is the eloquent first paragraph:

With industrialization has come a general depreciation of work. As the price of work has gone up, the value of it has gone down, until it is now so depressed that people simply do not want to do it anymore. We can say without exaggeration that the present national ambition of the United States is unemployment. People live for quitting time, for weekends, for vacations, and for retirement; moreover, this ambition seems to be classless, as true in the executive sites as on the assembly lines. One works, not because the work is necessary, valuable, useful to a desirable end, or because one loves to do it, but only to be able to quit—a condition that a saner time would regard as infernal, a condemnation. This is explained, of course, by the dullness of the work, by the loss of responsibility for, or credit for, or knowledge of the thing made.

and here I paraphrase some of his recommendations:

1. preserve families and communities
2. maintain the practices of neighborhood
3. maintain the domestic arts of kitchen and garden, household and homestead
4. limit use of technology so as not to displace or alienate available human labor or available free sources of power (the sun, wind, water, and so on)
5. limit farms to a scale that is compatible both with the practice of neighborhood and with the optimum use of low-power technology
6. limit costs by the practices and limits already mentioned
7. educate children to live at home and serve their communities
8. esteem farming as both a practical art and a spiritual discipline

thoughts on vegetarianism and our relationship to animals

I've been reading a book that has raised many questions for me about some of the foods I eat.

I know it's more polite for people who make certain choices to keep quiet and not judge those who don't act similarly. I certainly don't think that I would have responded well to any pressure from guilt-tripping vegans or vegetarians or radical environmentalists or global poverty activists or other viewpoint pushers. I'm thankful I had the opportunity for my views to develop naturally and gradually, and I don't really want to put that pressure on anyone else. However, I have been thinking about this, and the writer in me needs to write in order to process these ideas. So please don't be offended.

I'm not one of those people who became vegetarian as a child when they realized they were eating animals. I knew very well where my meat came from. I saw a cow that was to be killed when I was maybe 5 years old, and I don't know if I heard it killed or just imagine that I heard it. I saw carcasses hanging in the markets in Bolivia. When we moved to rural Illinois I saw cows and pigs being raised in small and large farms. I saw the dairies. It didn't really bother me; I actually enjoyed learning about farming. (One exception: I do recall once being appalled when I saw the tiny pen that a sow was kept in when she was having piglets. It was only a bit larger than she was. She could move less than a foot in any direction, and couldn't turn around.)

I gradually transitioned to a less-meat diet because I was obsessed with cutting my expenses so I could save money and quit the job I was no longer able to believe in. Lentils are much more affordable than meat.

It wasn't squeamishness about eating animal flesh. It's been some time since I ate meat, I don't know yet if I would rule it out permanently. Yet some questions have come up as we think more and more seriously about becoming self-reliant, and looking closely at what is involved in "producing" our own eggs and milk (which we still consume at this point).

Then recently, I've been reading "The Way We Eat: Why Our Food Choices Matter" by Peter Singer. And I'm learning about how the majority of meat, eggs and milk are raised: on enormous factory farms. I understand the market constraints that push good people to take on these huge operations. I know some of these people personally and I believe that it may have been the only way they saw to make a living at farming.

The entire efficiency and profit obsessed food industry is flawed, and blaming any individual without examining the root of the problem is unfair (and that would be a whole other essay). Finding the sources of the problem and crafting a solution is an enormous task. My overly simplistic anti-capitalist position may not be the right way, although it sure is tempting to just run away from the whole greedy profit driven mess.

After thinking this over more, I'm realizing that my objections with commercial milk, egg, or meat production is that besides being cruel, wasteful, and enviromentally dangerous, it's just so far away from what the natural life cycle of the animal would be.

A few examples:

Egg farmers either dump or kill and sell male chicks after they hatch. They are the offspring of a bird that is bred to produce large numbers of eggs. The males are not considered financially worth raising to sell as meat. Other birds are bred for the kind of body that is considered desirable for meat.

Dairy farmers must keep their cows producing milk almost constantly, which requires them to get the cow pregnant 4-6 weeks after it gives birth to a cow. A cow's gestation period is like a human's, 9 months. By getting the cow pregnant shortly after birth, they ensure that the cow will resume milk production shortly after its milk supply dries up from the previous pregnancy. The strain of being pregnant and maintaining unnaturally high levels of milk production takes it toll on a cow. While a cow living a natural life could live to be 15 to 25 years old, the average dairy cow only lives 3-4 years before it fails to produce the level of milk that is profitable to the farm. It then is killed for meat.

What about the calves that are born to these cows? The females may be raised to become dairy cattle. The males are either killed young as veal, or raised to become beef.

..................................................................

I think that there is such a thing as ethically raising animals. However, I would prefer to let the animal be part of a system of life, rather than just used as a food production unit.

A chicken that wanders around a yard, eating insects, creating poo/fertilizer, and laying eggs, some of which actually hatch and are nurtured to become chickens...that chicken is living a whole life. [We've read that ducks are a little more pleasant to have around than chickens. I always thought chickens were too high strung and cranky. Ducks have gentle, musical voices, and their beaks aren't pointy.]

I don't have a problem with eating the eggs of birds. I don't really see myself having the guts to kill a duck to roast, though. Especially once I knew its unique personality. And this raises the dilemma, what do you do about the males? Do you just let them be a part of your menagerie? For now, I think I would. Apparently ducks do well foraging for themselves, so they aren't an expense to feed. And I'd build a coop or shelter from scraps of wood, if necessary.

If we raised ducks for eggs, I'd like part of our plan to be to take advantage of their propensity to eat slugs and bugs that are hungry for the garden plants.

....................................................................

In the same way, I don't think I'd want to have cows on a farm, unless they had a "job" other than producing milk and offspring. Making them get pregnant all the time, just so that we can have milk, seems unnatural. And what to do with the calves? Wouldn't the mother want to have its calf around for a while? I can't imagine it not being sad if it was separated from its calf. I would rather let it nurse the calf, and then take the rest of the milk, rather than separating the mother from its calf.

What do you do when your herd grows? Sell the cows to be butchered? It's something you'd have to be ok with. I think it would be cool to use the cows to plow a field or pull a cart. That way the male cows could earn their keep, too.

We could raise sheep for their wool. Then we could shear them and they'd be earning their keep without needing to be killed. They fertilize pastures, too. And I'd have to learn to spin yarn and take up knitting in the winter.

....................................

Where does all this lead to? I want to know what is a natural relationship between humans and "our" animals. What is a balanced, natural way to raise animals kindly, to allow them to live full, healthy lives. How can we as humans benefit from the animals, but care for them at the same time.

I think I need to spend more time learning about this. But I know that the meat, milk, and eggs sold in our stores does not represent the type of relationship that I am looking for.

Which is why I'm really longing to get some land, even just a bit, for a few ducks and sheep to roam on.

it's not too late

they are comforting words.

bailout musings (warning. content is kind of radical)

BAILOUT: when a corporation use the state's power to forcibly extract money from taxpayers.

I'm no economist, but I'm starting to see this as the last act of a dying monster.

They started by making us want things we don't need. An endless parade of products that the human race lived without for millenia passes before our eyes. Many of these things are actually bad for us, hurt our health, and make us sick. Then we need medicine, which they also want to sell.

The things they make to sell to us also produce terrible by-products that they dumped into our streams. They did it until we noticed, and protested. Sometimes, they paid us, but by then, many of us had gotten very sick from the water we drank, the air we breathed.

We made laws to protect our water and our air, but the companies spent more money to weaken these laws.

They did this while spending lots more money on advertising that presented their products as wholesome, necessary, delicious, and fun. They painted themselves as benign, caring for us, producing the products we love and need. These advertisements are everywhere. They are aimed at us and at our children.

Endlessly creative, they seduce customers into unbearable levels of debt. They make money off the debts. And then, when the miserable debtors cannot pay, and when our banks are failing as a result...what then? Is it over? Oh, no.

These crafty, endlessly evil corporations have already bought their way into our government. Suddenly our representatives are breathlessly telling us that we must bailout these huge corporations. If we don't, we'll have an economic collapse.

.....

The truth is, the collapse will happen anyway. And I'm not really sure what good all the money will do those corporations.

I wish we could all team up to starve the monster. Just stop buying everything. Except maybe organic vegetables, handmade goods, and thrift store products.

For now, I'm paying attention to each dollar I spend. I want to give as little as I can to the evil corporations. I want to give as much as I can to support causes that I feel good about. (I don't mean charity, I mean businesses that are actually sort of good.)

Oh, and one more thing. I'd love to one day to live off of maybe $5000 or so per year. Or whatever amount makes me tax-exempt. Because then I won't be paying for this ridiculous bailout. I don't know if it will work. But I just want out of this economic system. Maybe I sound like a nut job. But I feel like I'm starting to see it all for what it is.

weight

i've been feeling the weight of the world lately...the heaviness in what i've been reading about so many different types of problems.

today adam & i talked about whether it's good to know, or not know. it's a tough one.

sometimes you can take on more information that your spirit can bear. and yet, we are one planet, and one people, and what one suffers, all suffer.

i've been thinking that maybe this was the lesson that jesus showed us with his life. he shared in the suffering.

not that there isn't joy. life is still here. spring is around the corner. the birds sing, crocuses bloom.

it's amazing that life continues and joy continues even amid such problems. it's inspiring, actually.

here's to awareness mixed with the courage of joy.

baking bread

finally, after many crumbly, dense loaves, i've had one victorious, fluffy, delicious loaf. a second batch is on the way to rising perfectly, thanks to the heater in the kitchen.

the recipe is from a bag of king arthur whole wheat flour. i think i actually misunderstood the recipe, though, and didn't mix the yeast with water prior to starting. and it works! and is less messy.

This is my version, which makes 2 loaves.

first, mix the dry ingredients:
5 t of yeast (2 packets)
7 cups of flour (I use mostly wheat, some white. however, the original recipe says all wheat)
2 t of salt (i use slightly less than 2)

mix them together, then pour the wet ingredients on top:
2 2/3 cups of lukewarm water
1/2 c of vegetable oil (i think the coconut oil i've been using makes extra delicious bread)
about 1/4 c of honey, with some molasses in there too

mix it all together, then knead for 6-8 minutes.

set it to rise. i put the bowl of dough on a chair next to the heater, and then use a towel to trap the heat and bring it to the dough. it rises in half the time.

punch down.

re-rise in greased loaf pans.

bake at 350.

I love this because it makes very little mess, and I just threw it together in about 15 minutes! unreal.

Of course, more experimentation will be required in order to incorporate sprouted wheat, but for now we are eating our sprouts in other ways, so I won't worry about that for now.

Get the butter ready.

contentment

inspired by reading this article:

economic stimulus. economic growth. but is growth really a good thing?

it seems to me that the whole idea of investments is that we put our money somewhere and it grows into more money than we had before.

i can understand not wanting ones money to decrease in value, and inflation would inevitably make money buried in the ground 50 years ago worth less than when the hole was dug.

but when growth must come at the expense of the health of our planet, the health of individuals, the quality of food, the quality of life...can having more money really make up for the incredible losses we as human beings, creatures of this planet, have sustained?

the markets have demanded: more must be made, more efficiently, faster, cheaper, for greater profits. the desire to squeeze money out of each square inch of soil is desperate; eventually there will be no value left in the soil to squeeze. the growth is not sustainable. our land is dying. and our lives are suffering.

there is an alternative.

contentment. having enough, and being happy to live a little land and have enough to eat, warmth, shelter. making a profit is great, but how much of a profit does one need? perhaps enough to buy certain necessities, small luxuries.

i have been reading much on this subject, and i am thrilled to discover that others can express these ideas much more poetically and thoughtfully than i.

Wendell Berry in his book "The Art of the Common Place: The Agrarian Essays" speaks well and profoundly about our relationship with the land, the history of our country, and why we have not cared for the land as we ought. He gives stories about people who were content with less, and as a result they were able to treat the land with observant gentleness.



We don't need more money, more stuff, faster. All of that more & faster philosophy actually makes us unhealthy and unhappy.

LESS, and more slowly. Taking time for contemplating nature, family, the spiritual world.

It's great to learn sprouting, baking, book binding, gardening. This morning I picked the dead flowers from my basil plant and harvested seeds. What joy!! I compared them to the seeds that I bought & planted last spring. Similar. Now I have my own seeds, with a year's experience living in this place.

I guess I am greedy to do so many things. I wish I could help start a million community gardens. I wish I could teach poor people to sprout grains so they'd have low-cost, nutritious food available to them. I want to build a house, just to show that it can be done and it doesn't have to be so confoundedly complicated as modern houses are. Finish sewing that dress. Write letters to my friends. Learn how to make kombucha and yogurt and cheese and soap and candles. Knit. Write more. Learn natural healing techniques.

It's pretty clear that I'm bringing my characteristic intensity even to my desire to live a slow life. And clearly my biggest challenge will be to simply enjoy the present, and to find contentment exactly where I am.

the man who created paradise, by gene logsdon

what an amazing story. fiction, unfortunately. yet it's the not the first time i've read of someone who was inspired to buy devastated land with a view to restoring to it some of the beauty and health it had lost. and since ravaged lands would be far more affordable, perhaps that is the most accessible way to own land. not to mention the most satisfying.

wendell berry speaks of caring for the land, of being a steward, of helping it to heal, and letting it heal us.

wouldn't it be wonderful to heal just one little piece of our sad, wounded planet?

timeless dwellings

there is a gentleness to these homes, their inhabitants are connected to the earth. they are worn, softened, and cozy. warm, too. also, i believe that one of these could be built by a couple who is starting out in life together.


while these buildings look like they've been abandoned, the article i lifted the picture from here discusses earth roofs and their advantanges. the yurts, on the other hand, have the advantage of being temporary structures and thus less restricted by building codes and property taxes.

I just finished reading a novel by Frank Schaeffer, "Baby Jack". It's so well written. The author is the son of a prominent evangelical intellectual, Francis Schaeffer, which is why i was interested in it in the first place. The writing did not disappoint, but rather revealed the author to be a very thoughtful observer of human nature and spiritual truths.

During the course of the novel, one of the characters dies. He continues to narrate and is able to be anywhere and read the feelings and thoughts of people he chooses to follow. He tells us about his family and friends, but also about God, and how God responds to things. The way this is described is full of surprises. Sometimes God uses language that most of us would find un-God-like. Sometimes God doesn't want to answer people's requests, tells them to forget it, then changes his mind. Other times he gets mad and uses the f-word.

The characterization God gets in this book could be called irreverent, but I ended up finding it incredibly challenging.

"Why did you create humans?" I ask God.
"The Brooklyn Botanic Garden."
"That's it?!"
"And I like William Wegman's large format Polaroids of his dogs."


'...that sinking feeling all religious fanatics get as soon as it hits them that they've more or less wasted their lives trying to please God and he not only doesn't give a sh*t but doesn't even like them.
It's a really nasty surprise to wake up and find you're in paradise with a bunch of infidels and they got here without even trying. The born-again Christians get that same sinking feeling. Eternal life turns out to be such a disappointment for true believers.
Sometimes the dead are so bummed they even argue theology with God. A few days ago a newly arrived Southern Baptist was so shocked by God's profanity that he told God that he thought God needed to repent and accept the Lord Jesus Christ as his personal savior.'

'God doesn't give a rat's ass one way or another, at least not about the things people think are a big deal, destiny, the rise and fall of nations, and all. To God, countries, nations, peoples and tribes come and go, are no more important than leaves swirling on a driveway. He does have likes and dislikes, though, but it's nothing to do with any rules. With God it's all personal. Take Gaughin. God is very angry about how he treated Van Gogh. He says Gaughin "drove Van Gogh to suicide" and he says Gaughin is overrated. "Muddy" is how God describes his paintings.'


The idea that after people die, they are able to see the thoughts and experiences, both past and present, of the people they knew and interacted with in life--this really challenged me.

I believe that my thoughts are known to God, but for some reason thinking about other people knowing my thoughts jolted me a little more. Memories of thinking nasty thoughts about people, sometimes even people who have not harmed me. I can be very critical.

The novel goes on to describe a person that many of the dead, as well as God, love to spend time around. And this person was not a religious leader, but rather a marine drill instructor. A person without guile.

Damn, I thought. Does God like to spend time around me? Probably not. I am boringly obsessed with organizing my stuff, washing dishes, and crossing things off my to-do list. Somewhere along the line, it seems that my concept of what is important must have gotten skewed.

Could I be inspired to be a more honest, kind person? A person of warmth and truth, of integrity and compassion? Someone who people would choose to spend time with, even if they knew my thoughts?

Another observation:

'The amazing thing about Jessica is that what she says and what she's thinking is usually the same thing. With most people there's an internal conversation that's different than what they're saying. Swimming in them [observing them] is like watching a 3-D movie without the glasses. Thoughts and words overlap but not exactly. But with Jessica her thoughts and words are in sync.'

I can't do this book justice, or even really give you a good sense of it but it's a gem, and I really look forward to reading more from this author.