your assignment

 ...isn't to be perfect

it's to figure out 

who you are

how to be you

and how to be part of things.

To do so kindly, authentically

quirkily, honestly

humbly, and with a certain

pride 

in the unique notes

you bring

to your community

Where this is headed

Age fifty approaches.  I find flashes of overwhelm, with my things, my tasks, the impossibility of victory over life.  Entropy gains on me.  

Yes - I teach my classes, I do laundry, cook meals, see friends.  I do the things I'm expected to, even appear moderately succesful.  Exercise, bathe and dress, do my hair.  Vitamins, vegetables, doctor visits.

Yet the realization dawns: health problems will increase.  Exposure to injury and harm is unavoidable.  

Somehow, accepting this: that I will ultimately lose the battle with entropy, that I'll succomb to whatever kills me, that I'll sink into the earth sooner or later, it's a relief.  I'm trying to stay on top, but it's to be expected that I'll eventually fail.  Which is how it's supposed to be.

Today I can keep things simple, stay closer to the soil.  When it's time, I will more easily slip beneath it.  I'll let go of my affairs; the creatures and beings that come after me will carry life forward.