Wednesday, October 04, 2006

i am foolish

1. decide to make chocolate milk at 11:40 pm.
2. don't make it in the microwave. make it on the stove, with the really good mexican chocolate bars.
3. leave it cooking on high for about 40 minutes.
4. be in your room with the door closed, blissfully updating your online planner & feeling really accomplished and organized
5. catch a whiff of a foul black smell, and have a lightbulb moment
6. dash into the kitchen, which is thick with black smoke, and turn off the burner
7. open all the windows in the house, wishing like mad for a howling gale.
8. hope the roommate is already asleep, so she won't find out how dumb you are.
9. realize you have no fan, and the smoke is not leaving.
10. realize that when she goes to the bathroom in the night, she will think the building is burning.
11. feel relief when you realize she is still awake. borrow a fan. explain your stupidity.
12. go to bed.
13. wake in the morning to the lingering wretched smell still there.
14. attempt to clean stove top & chip black carbon chuncks out of the pan
15. while scrubbing & chipping vigorously with a fork, get a carbon particle in your eye.
16. slosh big glasses of water into your eye, moan, slosh more, hold your eyelid up, cry, look in mirror, slosh some more, pray, cry.
17. call mom because i am utterly wretched.
18. go to the doctor and get numbing drops & find out the offending black particle is now gone.
19. come home. feel utterly exhausted. and relieved.
20. vow NEVER to leave the kitchen while something is cooking, EVER.

3 comments:

Beth said...

wow, thanks for the howling gales of laughter. i can just see your face during the light bulb moment. i'm glad you're better now.

Wikkid Person said...

Ya? Well, I left a pot sitting on an element with the knob turned so close to "off" it I didn't notice it was really a bit "on" all evening until I noticed while walking through later that the white pot was turning an odd colour inside. I didn't hurt myself, but could have equally burned down my whole building.

I note from the Internet two delightful made-up words today:

"Paris Hilton is a celebutard"
and
"Victoria Beckam has turned into a tanorexic as well"

Unknown said...

hey i did this!!!! now im retarded!!! yay!!!!!!!!! =]